The below is an excerpt from Your Life Is Designed to Work: A Psychological and Spiritual Guide by Dr. Jane Ilene Cohen:
The concept of a plumb line is useful in helping us understand what we need in order to have a stable source for our survival and well-being:
A plumb line is a string or cord that is weighted on the bottom end. It is a basic carpentry tool used to align physical structures (such as a building) with gravity so they will be stable.
Gravity is a physical force that the structure of our physical world depends on. The force of gravity pulls the plumb line straight down and, therefore, provides an accurate vertical orientation. If a building is aligned with that true vertical plumb line, it will be stable. If a building is oriented around a wall that is tilted, and, therefore, not aligned with gravity, the building won’t be stable.
We generally orient ourselves around one or more sources outside ourselves that we believe will provide stability for our survival and well-being. They become our plumb lines.
Similar to the carpenter orienting his building around a plumb line, what we orient our lives around determines whether our life works or not. And, therefore, the plumb line you choose is crucially important. If your plumb line is not aligned with a true source (such as gravity is for a building), sooner or later, it will not be stable and will not support your survival and well-being.
Here are some common plumb lines many of us use to give ourselves a sense of stability in our lives:
A Person
Many of us orient our life around a person, such as a husband, a wife, or a teacher, as our plumb line.
Perhaps you know someone whose life revolves around his/her significant other. Many people rely on their significant other for their security, financial survival, sense of value, and/or well-being. Perhaps you recognize this in yourself. Or, perhaps, instead of a significant other, for you, that person is a best friend, an adult child, or a parent.
You might rely on that person for what you believe you can’t handle. For example, you might rely on him to make decisions for you, or to take actions out in the world for you, or as your conscience. You might do this because you don’t trust your own judgment, believe you can’t take care of yourself, or are afraid the world is too much for you. Or perhaps you feel if you don’t orient your life around this person, he will leave you.
(When this person is also using you as his plumb line that is a co-dependent relationship.)
When you orient your life around a person, you are actually orienting yourself around his perception of reality. To whatever degree his perception is distorted or disconnected from present-moment experience, you are leaning on the distortions and limitations through which he is defining his life.
In addition, other people aren’t inside of your experience. Although they may have wisdom or experience to offer, they ultimately can’t know the best choices for you. They are not what your survival, well-being, and stability can actually be based on.
In the long run, orienting your life around another person is limiting, disempowering, and, therefore, destabilizing.
Other common plumb lines we use to give our lives stability are our job (or business) or our home.
In the physical realm, gravity is a force governed by the laws of physics. It is connected to something inherently real and true. For that reason, orienting a physical structure around gravity provides fundamental stability for that structure.
In contrast, the examples given in this chapter (particular people, your home, or your job) are not inherently real and true. Therefore, orienting yourself around them does not provide a solid source of stability. (I’m not saying your job, home, and relationships aren’t important. They are just not the basis for your underlying stability.)
What would be a plumb line that is in alignment with what is inherently real and true and that can give us real stability for our survival and well-being? And why do we choose limited, unstable sources instead?
The next chapter in the book addresses the answer to these questions.
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Author’s Bio: Jane Ilene Cohen, Ph.D. is an Intuitive & Transformational Counselor, and an NLP & TimeLine Master Practitioner and Hypnotherapist, with a private practice in California. She does individual counseling with adults and adolescents (includes the NLP TimeLine Process and hypnosis), and works with couples, families and other relationships. She is also the Founder of the “Life is Designed to Work” thought system. Her book “Your Life Is Designed to Work: A Psychological and Spiritual Guide” can be found on Amazon at: https://www.amazon.com/dp/0578962314 .
For more about Dr. Cohen’s counseling services, go to: JaneCohenCounseling.com . For a free phone consultation to decide if this is right for you, or to make an appointment, call Dr. Cohen at (619) 203-4412.
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